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Thursday, May 15, 2008 |
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A belated Mother's Day story Posted: Thursday, May 15, 2008 - 07:57:44 am PDT By the time you read this column Mother's Day will be nearly a week gone and I didn't' send a card.
I -- mercifully -- never had the kind of mother who yelled at my coaches as I grew up playing sports or got into a tiff with my teachers after a less-than-glowing parent-teacher conference night. If I got benched or was squeaking by with a C in Algebra, my mom knew whose fault it was, and she was looking at him. Rather, my mom was the kind who would brag a bit if given the chance and she and my father both took opportunities in my high school years to do a little embarrassing when the time was right. I have the kind of mom who might send a note in a lunch bag (not often) and the kind who still tries to write comments on the Eagle's Web site praising some story I wrote. Her limited computer skills usually work in my favor there.But if I could sum up my mother and her relationship in a single story, this might be it: Two Christmases ago I brought my girlfriend home to Memphis to meet the family and eat real Bar-B-Que. On a slow afternoon of her visit my girlfriend, my mom and I went out to grab a bite and were strolling through some stores. After laughing off my snark, we went on to the next store where my five-foot-one-inch-mother pulled a rather slinky red dress off a rack and put it up to my six-foot girlfriend. Expressing her envy that the latter's legs were about as long as the former's whole body, my own mother said, "In a dress like that you'd walk into a place with Alex and leave with someone better." Zing. My girlfriend was slackjawed, unsure of whether she'd just witnessed one of the all-time great burns or if she was in the midst of some sort of potential mother-in-law test. I immediately realized I was up against a master and shut my big mouth. Now I file the incident alongside the time I got grounded for drinking because my mom smelled alcohol on my breath (it was Chinese food), the time the family went to Disney World and I had to stay and take the ACT's (true story) and a long string of clothing choices forced upon me in my youth that included, but were not limited to, V-neck sweaters, turtlenecks and fluorescent jogging suits. All this adds up pretty simply to me: I've got one of the best. And even if her short, gray DNA has prevented me from ever being able to dunk and ensured me a "distinguished" look early in life, we should all be so lucky. Happy Mother's Day. --Alex Strickland
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