Hold your nose and vote

It's time to face the facts: Sen. Conrad Burns is an embarrassment to Montana. A foul-mouthed, self-promoting buffoon, a prince of fools in the college of clowns we know as the United States Senate, Burns is held in such contempt by his colleagues that in 18 years he hasn't been given a single committee assignment of importance or considered for a serious post in the leadership.

He has no significant legislation to his credit and has never delivered a thoughtful speech on the Senate floor. His time seems to be spent cavorting with lobbyists and berating civil servants while sporting yet another new cowboy hat and endless pairs of handmade boots.

Can anyone seriously contend that Montana or the United States would be any different if Burns had never entered politics? He's been a cipher, the invisible man, and a seat-warmer.

Nonetheless, every Montanan who loves this state and cares deeply about the future of our country must not only vote for Burns but must undertake every possible effort to ensure his reelection.

Why? Because he is a rock-solid vote in the Republican caucus, and the Republicans must retain at least 51 seats in the Senate to avoid a catastrophe for our nation.

Can you imagine Harry Reid, Charles Schumer and Richard Durbin setting the agenda for the Senate and controlling everything that happens on the floor? Could you stomach Patrick Leahy as chairman of the Judiciary Committee, or Joseph Biden at Foreign Relations, or Ted Kennedy at Labor? Can you imagine Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton, Russ Feingold and John Kerry in the majority leadership?

Multiply these horrors by the very real possibility that Nancy Pelosi, John Conyers, Jim McDermott et. al. may be running the House next year and that the next president will be a Democrat. This disaster is too awful to contemplate.

So we need Conrad Burns more than he needs us. It won't be too bad — he can be counted on to do nothing of any importance, good or bad, and will be a reliable vote on the right side of the aisle. Vote for survival — hold your nose and vote for Burns.

Bill Fitzpatrick

Whitefish