What's in a name?

I need to make a correction to last week’s column. I had bemoaned the fact that I’ll never be a dynasty, but it turns out I was wrong.

I already am.

Unfortunately, it’s in name only.

For 42 years in the 20th century, the name Michael was the No. 1 baby boy name in the United States. That’s right - we Michaels have owned the top spot for a long, long time.

Take that, all you Davids, Georges, Pauls, Isaacs and Matthews. Michael is the Chicago Bulls, the Yankees, the Celtics and Rome all rolled into one.

When the U.S. government began keeping track of names on Social Security cards back in 1880, the name Michael had a humble start - just No. 50 on the list. For the next 60 years, Michael stayed in the game but could never make a big move in the standings.

But in 1940, my name rocketed into the No. 18 slot. Finally, parents across America started to catch on.

By 1945, I had cracked the top 10. By 1949, the top five.

And then, in 1954, a glorious event in United States history occurred - Michael reached No. 1. For the next five years, Michael couldn’t be stopped.

Unfortunately, thousands of parents made the unforgivable mistake of naming their sons David in 1960, and Michael moved into second. Whatever. David enjoyed his one-year stint as a fluke No. 1.

In 1961, Michael began an unprecedented run as king of names. For the next 37 years, Michael reigned supreme. Baby boys were given the name in huge numbers. We destroyed all opponents. I joined their swollen ranks in 1979 in the middle of the historic run.

But like all great dynasties, an end must come.

The bad part is we never saw it coming. This new No. 1 came out of nowhere. He wasn’t even in the top 20 in 1992. But by 1997, he was breathing down Michael’s neck at No. 2. In 1998, he played the bridesmaid again, but then he took over.

And it was only fitting that Michael should be dethroned by the name Jacob in 1999. You see, the biblical character Jacob was the twin brother of Esau, and the name Jacob means “supplanter.”

I would like to point out to the parents who chose the name Jacob over Michael that the biblical Jacob was a dirty sneak most of his life, and he stole his brother’s blessing by dressing in goat hide. (Just look it up in Genesis.)

Sure, later he was renamed Israel and became a great nation, but that’s not the point.

The name Michael is a very powerful one in the Bible. Michael is an archangel, the leader of the angelic army who crushes Satan.

Plus, Michael is the patron saint of soldiers, was the name of nine Byzantine emperors and a czar of Russia.

So, really, Jacob (dirty sneak), or Michael (super-powerful with a long history of incredible achievements)?

I thought so.

To all you expecting parents out there, let’s make it happen in 2007. This is the year Jacob goes down.

To see where your name ranks among the most popular baby names in America, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames/