Remembrances of days past in the Flathead

W Richard Dukelow

Many in the Flathead Valley are retired or approaching that event. Children have grown up, grandchildren (even great grandchildren!) have arrived. As we examine our homes they seem to have increasing numbers of old and cherished family items that have been passed on through generations. These include such items as pictures, antique dishes, jewelry, furniture and other endeared items. Often these reflect family history and there is a desire to see that they are "passed on" for future generations.

How do you do this? Too often such distribution is delayed until after the death of the senior family member. The items have resided (often in storage) and neglected. When my wife's last surviving parent died, she and her brothers sat down and devised a scheme where they, in rotation, each selected one item of remembrance to keep . After several hours all items had been dispersed. This works but may not follow the wishes of the deceased parents. Some items may not even be wanted. There may be items where the family history is not even known.

One family in the Flathead Valley has recently addressed this problem and by some simple steps the problems have been solved. It started with pictures hanging on walls or in storage. A brief history of each picture and its relationship to the family history was written. This was glued to the back of the picture. A decision was made whether the picture was to remain in its location or if it should be passed on to a relative immediately. In some cases an eventual recipient was identified on the tag for future reference.

Dishes, candle holders and similar items can be a problem because they tend to be broken over time. Nevertheless each dish was identified by a number (applied under the dish with black fingernail polish or a permanent marker) and a list made, by number, of the family significance of each item. As with pictures, a decision was made on whether to pass on any given dish immediately.

Furniture can be a problems because of its size. Many family members may not even want family furniture. Others may be avid collectors of such items.

Jewelry can have particular problems. It should be divided into valuable and costume jewelry, the former to be passed on (with a written history). Less expensive jewelry, not wanted by the senior family member can be made available to younger family members. Young girls are particularly pleased by the opportunity to sort and choose such items.

Other family heirlooms that have been passed on should be identified with a written commentary and either distributed or stored for future distribution. This might include flags, medals and other items that have particular relationships to ancestors. Sometimes historic items can be valuable. Fans of the TV show "Antique Road Show" are constantly shown items with unexpected financial value.

Finally, you might consider a party for your grandchildren or great grandchildren where the family history is discussed and some of the heirlooms displayed. The unnamed valley couple recently did this with presentations of the history of the family treasures. Each member of the audience received an item of family history and went home knowing a little bit more of their origin than they previously knew.

For this distribution of cherished items, you not only have the pleasure if seeing the joy in children's faces but at the same time your house is a little less crowded!

Richard Dukelow is a columnist for the West Shore News and lives on Spring Creek Road.