Change: A farewell to the Flathead
Changes change us.
I know that's not always the case, but we often grow through the changes that we experience in life. It is equally true that, without change, we often experience little growth. That's not to say that change is an essential component of growth, but altering our comfort zone certainly is.
My comfort zone was recently altered when I was asked to relocate to the Skagit Valley, north of Seattle. My initial reaction was that I live in a place that I absolutely love and could scarcely think of leaving - not just because of its inherent beauty, but because of the wealth of friendships that I have formed since I moved here five years ago.
It took a lot of praying to change my mind, and I'm still not comfortable with leaving. I do, however, believe that it is what I need to do. I am beginning to realize that I cannot take the next step in the personal growth that is necessary in my own life until I step outside of my comfort zone and embrace the changes that I now seem fated to undergo.
For the past five years, I have been writing for the West Shore News and pastoring a church in Columbia Falls. I am saddened by the prospect of leaving both, since moving means much more than leaving one of the most beautiful places on earth. It also means leaving hundreds of people whom I have come to love.
The only time in my life when change has ever come easy was when I was running away from my past. Back then, I wanted to get as far as I could away from all the things I was trying to forget. However, I soon realized that no one really runs away from the past, because we continue to live in its shadow until we face it, deal with whatever remains unresolved and move on.
A lot has changed since then - most of it for the better, although I tend to recall with fondness the days when I still had a full head of hair, a 29-inch waist and enough energy to get up before the sun and work until evening.
Five children and 50 pounds later, I can claim a lot more miles and a lot less hair. What's more, change no longer comes easy.
I like stability. I like consistency. I like predictability. I like my surroundings and the friendships I have formed. And, after five years of work and reporting on the incomparably beautiful Flathead Lake, I like calling this place my home.
I imagine, in some ways, it will always be my home. It will remain a place where friends and family can always be found.
Even so, change remains one of the constants that we can count on in life, whether we like it or not. As I said, before, changes change us.
Changes stretch us, challenge us and force us to grow. Changes often move us well outside of our comfort zone, where the challenges are nominal and where growth is often slow - even though most of us prefer it to be so.
Change is hard. But some change is necessary. I've come to appreciate maturity as that essential quality that allows us to know which changes are necessary to our growth and which changes will have less desirable results. Even though it's not the ending that I would have written to my life in the Flathead, I can accept it as the next step in growing process that should characterize each of our lives, no matter what stage of life we are in.
Don't get me wrong. Growth does not always involve or necessitate change. But, sometimes it does.
When I was 18, I realized that we cannot run from our past. Now, at 36 - half a lifetime later - I've come to accept that we can no more hide from the future than we can run from the past.
Part of my past lies in the Flathead, and that past will always be a part of me. I anticipate many drives back to this place that I love to rekindle friendships I've come to cherish and always will.
And, perhaps, one day, our paths are fated to cross again for a much more extended period. If so, I will eagerly embrace that change and continue the work I began five years ago.
However, until then, I will remember each one of the friendships I have made and smile for the privilege to have shared with you five wonderful years of my life. It's been a great five years. I thank God for every one of you and the kindness that you have shown me means more than can here express.
If any one of you would like to keep in touch, you can contact me via e-mail at jacobsquill@yahoo.com. Please do, as it would continue to mean a lot to me.
There may be many times in our lives that we have to leave our homes. That said, a good home never leaves us. We carry it with us wherever we go, and it continues to shape us in the best of ways, while we share with others the memories and experiences that have made us who we are.
To all of my friends, thank you for sharing so much. Your love and kindness are among the most precious things that I will be taking with me.
I welcome your correspondence any time and look forward to continuing those friendships from my new home.