Bigfork Relay for Life brings in big bucks

Paul Sullivan Jr. was too young to remember the day that he and his family found out he had cancer. Nor does he remember the emergency surgery he had to travel from Missoula to Salt Lake City for, or the news he was given that he more than likely wouldn't live. But his mother Mary and father Paul do, and at the opening ceremonies of Bigfork's Relay for Life on Friday evening Mary shared that tragic tale of hope, that thankfully came with a happy ending.

"I'm sharing my story because perhaps it will give hope to people with children that have cancer and let them know that they can survive it," Mary said. "And thanks to the research of the American Cancer Society, more and more people are surviving it."

Paul was Mary's first child, but that didn't mean she didn't know best. From the time her son was born, April 19, 1981, she knew something was wrong with him, but his pediatrician in Missoula continually assured her that he was a healthy baby. Then, when he was five months old, he caught a cold and the doctor took X-rays to check for signs of pneumonia. They didn't find pneumonia, but what was discovered was far worse. Paul had a neuroblastoma, a cancerous tumor that was the size of an orange.

"The doctor said he would never again doubt a mother's intuition," Mary said.

The family flew to Salt Lake City the following day for surgery. Doctors were able to get the majority of the cancer out, but due to its location they had to leave a great deal in, even some that could be seen by the naked eye. Doctors had done the best they could, and from there it was up to the baby boy to heal himself. However, doctors warned the Sullivan's that that was unlikely, and his chances for survival were slim.

"It was very difficult to go through," Mary said. "The worst part of the whole thing was being told that he had cancer. It was even worse than being told he probably wouldn't live. That's probably because by the time they told us that we'd decided that he would live."

Mary quit her job teaching English at Hellgate Elementary School to care for her son and Paul Sr. used his flexible teaching schedule at the University of Montana to spend time with him as well. Paul Jr. had to go for monthly check ups at the doctor's office where X-rays and other tests were taken to determine if the cancer was spreading or receding. Chemotherapy and radiation were presented to the Sullivans as options, but they were told there were pros and cons, so they asked their pediatrician to find them a researcher to answer questions for them.

"We wanted him to ask two things for us," Mary said. "We wanted to know what their research was showing they should do as far as giving an infant radiation and we wanted to know what the researcher would do if it was her own baby."

Ultimately, the researcher said that she would not give the young child radiation because even if it did help get rid of his cancer it would likely have paralyzed him. So, the Sullivans decided to rely on Paul Jr. healing himself, and two years later he was deemed cured of the disease.

"In those days they would say that a patient was cured of cancer after so many years depending on the type of cancer they had," Mary said. "Now they just say that a person's cancer has been in remission for however many years. But it was very nice for us to have that date. It let us quit worrying."

By the time Paul Jr. had hit his two year mark the family had moved to Bigfork and his parents were both working at the Bigfork schools. A party was thrown at the Flathead Lake Lodge for Paul Jr. to celebrate him being cured.

"There was clowns and games and all kinds of fun stuff," Mary said. "It was like a big birthday party. All of his extended family came out for it. It was a great day."

To this day, the family still celebrates Paul Jr.'s other birthday, September 10. This New Year's Eve the "miracle child," who many thought wouldn't make it past his second birthday will also be celebrating something else with his family and friends — a wedding to Marybeth Sampsel, who is an attorney in Kalispell. Paul Jr. is in the same line of work. A graduate of University of Pennsylvania Law School, he recently opened up his own law practice in Bigfork.

So in a year full of so many new beginnings for Paul Jr., it seemed only fitting that his mother would give the key note speech at Bigfork's annual fund-raiser for the American Cancer Society.

"We are big supporters of the American Cancer Society," Mary said. "We are very thankful to Paul's surgeon and the researcher who told us not to give him radiation because he'd probably be in a wheelchair now had we done that."

Paul Jr. has only a few side-effects from his cancer. He developed horner syndrome from nerve damage during his operation. As a result his left eye drooped and he had to have cosmetic surgery to repair it. Also, he only perspires on half of his body.

"I was too young when I was sick to remember it, but I still have the side-effects as a constant reminder," Paul Jr. said. "I think it was a big part of my life growing up, and still is even today. There's no way something like that can't change you."

Even though he was very young at the time of his illness, Paul Jr. said it still shaped him into the man he is today.

"It sounds cheesy, but I think I always knew that it can all go away really quickly," he said. "They say teenagers think they're going to live forever, but I never did. I always had it in the back of my mind that it could all end pretty quickly. I think because of that experience I'm a lot more willing to give something a shot rather than putting it off until tomorrow."

As a survivor, Paul Jr. has participated in the Relay for Life several times, both locally and while in college.

"For me it's a reminder of what my parents had to go through when I was sick," he said. "It's a way for me to honor and connect with other people who have delt with this illness."

On Saturday, Paul Jr. walked in the survivor's lap at Bigfork's Relay for Life, and stood close by as his mom told his story.

"I think what my mom is doing is great," Paul Jr. said. "She's been a huge supporter of the walk and these type of things my whole life."