Ann Miller's hunting story

G. GEORGE OSTROM / For the Hungry Horse News

A very kind and witty lady came into my life 34 years ago and because of our meeting, thousands of others have enjoyed and been blessed by her amazing common sense approach to life.

Ann Miller is from a large, hard-working family that struggled through the Depression at a time when women had few opportunities to develop their own identities and creativity. She made the best of tough times, then raised her own family with more hard work and sacrifice.

During World War II and Korea, Ann also endured the apprehension of having loved ones in danger … nine brothers in the military.

Talked to Ann last Sunday and found her as sharp as ever, devout, and cheerful about her 97 years of life. Following is part of a "memories' letter she sent last week:

"With the hunting season in full swing. I'm reminded of Moose's 'Hard Luck Hunting Contest' in the Kalispell Weekly News way back in 1975. The prize was a night in the Honeymoon Suite at The Outlaw Inn plus a bottle of champagne. Wonder of wonders I won - here's my story:

"My first husband and I, homeward bound after a luckless hunt, came upon a noble antlered specimen (newly dead) lying in the trail. He'd been shot and had run until he expired. The meat needed prompt attention so while we waited for the successful hunter to appear, my husband rolled up his sleeves and did the essentials. After another fruitless wait plus a summit meeting we started to drag the carcass to the road to await developments, if any. Halfway down the mountain realization smote us: the deer was untagged and we certainly were in possession! Another summit meeting as we pondered the lesser of two evils: to be caught redhanded with the untagged deer by a lurking game warden or to lose a tag if the real hunter showed up. This resulted in my tag being sacrificed.

"We continued our tortuous haul, arriving at our embarkation point exhausted and with blood and gore all over our Pendelton and Malone pants, but much elated over our prize. Here to our consternation we discovered another hunter who fortunately (?) turned out to be one of our relatives. He'd shot his first buck and had been unable to track it, and since he'd heard no other shots, was this animal his deer?

" 'Absolutely not!' said my husband, a very accomplished fabricator, who then proceeded to tell in minute detail how he had stalked, out-witted and downed his quarry with deadeye precision. My brother's disconsolate face touched our hearts. We admitted our farce, acknowledged his ownership and there was much joy in the forest. We helped him load the deer, then shared lunch. He polished off our last Twinkie and took off, driving happily into the sunset, Mr. Luck himself. And here we were: sans meat, sans tag, sans lunch, sans everything." (End of hunting story)

"My plans for a big night of fun and luxury at the Outlaw Inn went haywire when my hubby wouldn't go. I'd been having too much fun with the subject by saying all we had to do was pack an overnight bag and walk to the Outlaw a few blocks. Besides, my husband wasn't the eager beaver he'd been some 40 years ago. But I did try. I went over to the Inn to check out the qualities and see what I was missing. Then considered asking my bridge foursome to spend the night — no use wasting champagne.

"I wrote a letter to Moose's Saloon and to George Ostrom at Kalispell Weekly News to thank them and why we weren't coming. Months afterwards I stopped at The News for something. George reached into a drawer and gave me a $50 gift certificate redeemable at The Sportsman that was having a half-price jean sale. Our whole family for 'jeaned' up. This was to take the place of the 'second honeymoon.'

"My husband (bless his soul) went to the Happy Hunting Ground 6 years ago and I am here at Immanuel Lutheran Home with my memories of the time my TRUE hunting story won the liars contest and also launched me on a new job — a 20-year stint with the Kalispell News and Hungry Horse.

"I want to thank Moose's Saloon, George, and The Sportsman for that long-ago contest that still keeps encouraging me to do freelance. And now that another hunting season is here, Good Luck folks, no lying! It pays to tell the truth!" Ann Miller

Postscript by George: Ann Miller's writing over the years for papers and periodicals would make a precious book. Her succinct poems and phrases should be preserved for other generations to savor and learn from. We love you, Ann.

G. George Ostrom is a Kalispell resident and a national-award winning Hungry Horse News columnist.