Mitigated memories
Two-thousand and ten was a quiet year for the Trailwatcher guy.
Biggest accomplishment was addition to my “Season’s of Glacier Park” DVD. We added a 15- minute introduction, which I wrote and narrated on history of Glacier National Park from time of first white exploration to completion of Sun Highway, using old photo trips to Bison Range and Glacier but didn’t climb any peaks. (Continued movement of the geological plates is making mountains steeper.) For fun, I dug out a year-end report from 18 years ago to see how our world was then. Some things change and some things don’t:
“Unmitigated seriousness is always out of place in human affairs.”
That sounds exactly like Will Rogers, but it belongs to Plato, who was born more than 2,400 years ago. The wonderful quote frames a philosophy I have consciously practiced most of my life. The world always seems to suffer from people practicing ‘UNMITIGATED SERIOUSNESS IN HUMAN AFFAIRS.”
Recently I reported the police had picked up a guy who was “drunker than a skunk.” Can you believe a guy with nothing else to do but write long letters to jovial old news reporters to say, “Skunks don’t get drunk.”
Outside of hearing from a few nuts like that, it has been a great year. January was one of those months when we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry… what with the legislature in session. My neighbor said it was a lot like watching you mother-in-law drive off a cliff … in your new car.
Our elected troublemakers invented a $75 million increase in our income taxes, soon cancelled by a petition drive. Then the politicians got their hands on an unpredicted increase in real estate appraisals, so the citizens continue living in great fear and uncertainty. My neighbor says it’s not easy being a commoner because, “In the sled dog race of life, the scenery only changes for the lead dog.”
February was a magnificent month because the Over the Hill Gang had a snow-coach, ski and walking tour of Yellowstone Park to see the geysers, frosted buffalo and bark-eating elk. Fine bonus of the trip was getting a free martini when a bartender mixed it by mistake. Who thinks about legislatures and taxes while sipping a Bombay Gin martini by a fireplace in the Old Faithful Snow Lodge when it’s 40 below zero outside?
Sometime in the spring our county commissioners told everyone they would not raise taxes. They said if the real estate appraisals increased, they would adjust the mill levy downward, sticking reasonably close to the last year’s budget per capita. It didn’t turn out like that. None of us know why the commissioners act like they do. My neighbor thinks we should make them take a urine test.
In April Iris and I drove the Pacific Coast highway form north to south, Olympic Peninsula to Los Angeles. One highlight was a $96 steak and seafood dinner “on the house” because the waitress forgot to turn in our order. We sat there for two and a half hours. The restaurant was on a high Oregon cliff overlooking the ocean where beautiful waves were breaking and roaring on the jagged rocks. Once we learned the dinner would be free, it didn’t seem like two and a half hours. I may have mentioned to the Maitre d’ that I was the travel writer for one of America’s leading publications. My neighbor claims I sometimes do things like that.
The summer proved to be another fantastic three days. Just kiddin’. The rains in July did what they are supposed to do, produced an August of flowers beyond compare and the Over the Hill Gang only missed one day among the peaks due to bad weather. Our faith in the “Counter Assault Bear Spray” was dramatically increased by experiences of three different groups who used the stuff to drive off would be bun-biters.
Another prize of summer were a few Glacier hikers chewed by grizzlies who took all the blame, then publicly apologized to the bears for disturbing them “in their home.” Hearing such thoughtful reactions gave me a warm feeling. My neighbor says anyone can get a warm feeling by just wetting their pants.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
G. George Ostrom is a Kalispell resident and an award-winning Hungry Horse News columnist.