Musings on an ice-covered lake while getting skunked

Once again, I’m sitting here on a white plastic bucket, staring at a small red and white bobber, hoping it will move a bit so I can jerk and catch a fish. But it ain’t happened yet.

Matter of fact, it hasn’t happened many times this winter. Hasn’t been my best ice-fishing winter by far, and I’ve heard the same story from other ice fishermen.

At least I didn’t crawl out of bed hours before first light. Still, that pretty much describes my bobber. Got plenty of time to think, and I’m wondering…

• Why modern refrigerators don’t work below 56 degrees. Bought a cabin refrigerator a couple of years ago and left some fish and wild game in the freezer section. But the entire outfit shut down when it got cold. Then the freezer warmed…

• Why I had to pay a postal surcharge because my package “didn’t weigh enough.”

• How is milk “vitamin D enriched.” Do dairy farmers dump in vitamin D into their vats, or are cows fed vitamin D pills?

• Why do some gas stations sell 85.5 octane gas? Do any cars run efficiently on that octane? Even my lawn mower needs 87.

• Do hair conditioners really thicken hair? How ‘bout if I applied and rinsed 30 times?

• How can our new dishwasher be an Energy Saver when the darned thing takes two hours to complete a cycle?

• If you shouldn’t put metal in a microwave, what about that metal shelf?

• Why is gas so often more expensive in Columbia Falls than in Kalispell — and always a dime more in Bigfork?

• How will our lives change when they eliminate the cardboard tube from inside a roll of toilet paper?

• Why didn’t I stay home and tie flies?