Playing hooky from the holidays

The best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had was the one where my family and I skipped it.

That’s right, we skipped Thanksgiving and it was awesome.

But before anyone can label me as Thanksgiving’s equivalent of Scrooge, it was a much-needed break from the rest of our family.

I won’t go into the details because of how confusing things get with my family tree, but it’s pretty much the root of the problem.

In my madhouse corner of the family tree I have my mom, biological father, actual father, and three ex-step-moms; all of which brought at least one half-or-step-sibling into my life.

Just as an example of how big and crazy things get beyond my branch of the family tree, my mom is older than her aunt and pretty much everyone has lots of kids from multiple marriages. My family is so big and extended that I don’t know how many cousins I have or what all of their names are and we have held holidays in community centers since no house was big enough to hold all of us, and those are just the ones that get along well enough to see each other.

The “family feuds” made things a bit more complicated, and unfortunately I’m not talking about the retro TV gameshow.

That happy mess led to having six places to visit for every holiday, and that’s just for the ones that stayed in southeastern Iowa.

So finally, one year while I was in college, we had had enough.

We didn’t do any of it.

We didn’t wake up early to attempt to cook food that we only ever ate that day of the year.

We didn’t get dressed up to go spend the day with relatives that we only ever see when someone gets married or dies.

We didn’t clean the house in a feeble attempt at impressing people we hardly know.

We didn’t listen to gossip about who’s living off the government, carrying another man’s baby, or got a tattoo using grandma’s credit card.

Instead, we focused on the little things that actually mattered. The big picture was a confusing, stressful and complicated mess so we took just one piece of the Thanksgiving pie and savored it.

We slept in. We stayed in our pajamas. We just hung out, made fun of each other, and played video games and watched movies together instead of driving from one side of the family to the other and back again.

Instead of cooking a massive turkey dinner ourselves and eating the leftovers for a month, we ordered a Thanksgiving meal for just the few of us that were there. Sure, the ham was drier and blander than my uncle’s ham. The mashed potatoes were not even close to how grandma did it, and the biscuits were definitely not homemade.

But, we didn’t have to do anything other than chill out and enjoy the day together.

It wasn’t traditional, and it certainly wasn’t conventional, but it was extremely enjoyable.

The pressure was completely off.

I’m not saying every holiday should be skipped and spent lounging around the house, but it was nice for a change of pace. We didn’t have to put on a front, watch what we said lest someone get offended, or do much of anything but just be there.

I’m also not saying I don’t love my super-extended family, because I do, but like with anyone else, there are times when the best thing for everyone is to keep some distance.

A month later we made all the same rounds for Christmas while attempting to “play nice” as if nothing had happened in November. And the best part about it was that nobody said anything. Not because they didn’t notice we weren’t there, but because they understood why we played hooky, and I think they might have even been a little bit jealous.