News flash: Swedes are meatball marauders

They’re calling it an “Abbasolute scandal.”

Dear people, before you read any further, be advised this column is for mature Scandinavians only (and no, that is not an oxymoron).

CNN reporter Judith Vonberg dropped this bombshell on the public Thursday morning: Swedish meatballs likely originated in Turkey, not Sweden.

It was Sweden’s own official Twitter account (@swedense) that outed its people as meatball moochers, noting that “Swedish meatballs are actually based on a recipe King Charles XII brought home from Turkey in the early 18th century. Let’s stick to the facts!”

This shocking revelation comes just days before Norway’s Syttende Mai (17th of May) festivities that celebrate Norway’s Constitution signed May 17, 1814.

A quick history lesson: even though its constitution declared Norway to be an independent kingdom after 400 years under Denmark’s rule, Norway’s forced union with Sweden lasted until 1905.

I suppose that’s why Norwegians shamelessly gorge themselves on Swedish meatballs at Syttende Mai dinners.

I should have realized long ago that those iconic meatballs weren’t Scandinavian in origin. I doubt that neither Swedes nor Norwegians would have thought to add something as exotic as allspice to the meat mush that’s shaped into balls. It’s the spice that gives Swedish meatballs that something extra. Let’s face it, most Scandinavian food, though loaded with butter and delicious, is pretty bland.

According to Vonberg’s report, some Swedish meatball fans are taking the news hard. Sweden.se, the official source for information about the country, responded to many of the comments.

Vonberg noted that when William J. poured out his soul, saying “My whole life was a lie…” Sweden.se “responded encouragingly, ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. Time starts now!’”

If there is anyone out there who has never savored Swedish meatballs, they’re traditionally served with a rich brown gravy over mashed potatoes, and if you’re lucky you have a piece of lefse to sop up the extra gravy and some lingonberry jam for a fruity punch.

The popular dish has become an international sensation because IKEA, a furniture company founded in Sweden, serves Swedish meatballs at IKEA superstores world-wide, Vonberg noted.

I can accept that Swedish meatballs are actually a Turkish delight. But what next? If I find out lutefisk (lye-soaked cod) originated somewhere other than Scandinavia, I’m not sure I could take it. I suspect, though, that no other self-respecting country would lay claim to the gelantinous fish with the repulsive smell. It’s a Nordic culinary phenomenon all the way.

Features Editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or lhintze@dailyinterlake.com.